It becomes clear with a look, a tone of voice. Someone doesn’t like you. And they are letting you know. Immediately, a flood of emotions erupts. Confusion, shame, and self-loathing all flare up instantly, putting us into a place of indecision and fear. Thoughts of "why don’t they like me?" rage in the mind, consuming our thoughts and impacting our actions. Our confidence wanes, our power diminishes, and we become small. It kills our joy. It all happens in a moment or two.
But the truth is, what others think of you is none of your business. It is only their business, and can only be their business, as no one perceives the world in the same way. We all observe and identify with the world through our own lenses, our unique filter system. Our filter system is created by experience. Each one of us has our own history, both individually and collectively as part of a familial group. As such, we will process information within the framework of that history and experience, basing all our judgements regarding the world on our personal experiences. Since not everyone’s experiences are the same, perceptions and judgements cannot be the same. Human feelings are rooted in familiarity, and judgements derived from that familiarity will often transcend common sense or reason. In other words, there is nothing you can do about someone else’s perceptions.
When someone doesn’t like you, it’s about them, not you. In fact, no matter how any one feels about you, it is still all about them. It doesn’t matter if someone feels a great deal of loathing toward you, or a great deal of love. It has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with them.
On our walk of life, being met with disdain, distrust, or dis-interest from others is hurtful and difficult. Remembering that others don’t see the world the same way you do, and continuing to always do your best, will soften the blow of animosity. Once you begin to understand this, compassion becomes your armor and kindness your strength.
“…The bad thing about life is not aging, it is that you lived as a slave, trapped in what others might think about you.” Anonymous
